Introducing “The Cap’n Crunch Show”

Johnny Carson, Ed Sullivan, Jay Leno, Conan O’Brien, David Letterman, Jimmy Fallon, Jimmy Kimmel,  Stephen Colbert. What do all of these names have in common? That’s right. They are all old white men. More than that, though, they are old white men with talk shows. So it is only reasonable to assume that the most…

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The Effects of Crunchberries on the Human Mind

I offer my deepest apologies to the scientific community for my prolonged period of silence. I fear that I may have delved a bit too deep into the essence of Crunch in my recent research, which has necessitated a sudden restructuring of my research unit which now includes a new division exclusively for creating data…

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Crunchy Answer #4: Horatio’s Pets

Ahoy viewers, Chad Goldsmith here back with the fourth installment in our Crunchy Answer series. This time, we are answering a question from two fans named Nathan and Sydney. The question, once again, is: Did the good captain Horatio ever have a pet? This is a CRUNCHTASTIC question! In fact, it was one I also…

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Cap’n Crunch – CrunchBerries Flavor Review

Strawberry. Blueberry. Raspberry. Blue Raspberry. Dingleberry. Blackberry. Cranberry. Brickleberry. These are the berries that my layman friend replied with when I asked them to name the berries they know.   Though it seems they have forgotten the most important berry of them all: the crunchberry. Yes, my fellow crunchlings, the crunchberry is the meaning of…

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Crunchy Answer #3: Video Games and Fever Dreams

Ahoy CrunchFans! We are back with another Crunchy Question from one of our beloved readers, Tater T.   For those who may have trouble reading the picture embedded, here is the question in text form: There was a CD game about the Cap’n called Cap’n Crunch Crunchling Adventure. I used to play it everyday in…

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2nd Batch of CrunchFacts T-shirts are here!

Ahoy mateys! Chad Goldsmith here with big news! Back by overwhelmingly popular demand, the second batch of CrunchFacts t-shirts are at the ready, once again handwoven by Horatio Crunch’s trusted crunchling worksman, Clutumnus. Clutumnus has had a lot of free time on his hands due to Crunch Island being on lock down (the island nation’s…

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In one of his lesser known artistic endeavors, Cap’n spills an effortless bowl of well crafted disses onto the stagnant game we call Breakfast Cereal.

Although the Captain is most known for his cereal empire and nautical advancements, many would be surprised to hear about Cap’n Crunch’s unnoticed foray into the underground hip-hop scene. I myself only just discovered his 2015 single “Cer3al Killer,” but after extensive listens I can say with confidence that this is the wake-up call the…

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Jean LaFoote Encounters: Trouble aFoote Part 1/3

As I delve further into Crunch’s memoirs, I descover truly how little I know about the universe. With each entry, Crunch reaches closer and closer to omnipotence. How he is able to remember even the most minute details, and then write them in his personal diary, able to be understood by even the most casual…

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Cap’n Crunch – Sprinkled Donut Flavor Review

It goes without saying that the best breakfast food is, undoubtably, cereal. More specifically, Cap’n Crunch cereal made by the one and only Horatio Magellan Crunch. However, a close runner-up is the donut. That’s why I could hardly believe my crunchberry sized eyes when I saw the perfect fusion cuisine: Cap’n Crunch Sprinkled Donut cereal.…

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クランチ様の俳句3

ミルク入り シリアルも入り 最高だ

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