It has recently been brought to my attention that lies are being spread about what we represent and how we choose to portray ourselves as an independent information entity. I apologize for any rash language or unsightly overtones in this update; I am simply livid.
We stand for nothing short of the entire truth and work tooth and nail to ensure that any tidbit or factoid is triple checked by various sources. We have access to exclusive documents that no other man, woman, or child has ever laid eyes on. This line of work means a lot to us, and the information we hold is invaluable. So, of course, we hold it in high regard. Of course, we choose not to disclose our sources. Of course, we cannot share any documents relating to the memoirs, written narratives, and oral accounts of Crunch’s life, inventions, interests, and exhibitions. It would be counter-intuitive. These are the things we have spent our lives working to obtain. They are things we have spent countless nights–awake and restless–trying to prove without a shadow of a doubt. We put our hearts and souls into our work, and wish only to spread the truth about our findings.
We value integrity and honor over all else, just like the Captain himself. When you disgrace us, and the information we offer, you disgrace Crunch’s legacy and everything he worked so hard to accomplish. Do you really want the Crunch Berries on your hands?
To anyone that may be on the fence about the validity of this blog: you are being lied to. We are honorable people and would never tell a lie. We will continue to do what we do and fight to prove the naysayers wrong. Crunchman out.