The Death of Crunch

Aujourd’hui, Crunch est mort. Or, maybe, another time. Or, maybe he has yet to die; though, if the death row inmate is as good as dead, what difference does it make?- and to think, I, just the other day, so vehemently doubled-back on my previous (and now, current) position. As I sit in my dark office, rubbing the small of my back (for it pains me so, and my beloved cereal is unfortunately no panacea), I think on the man I once thought I knew, and I come to realize–I did not know Horatio well, if at all; and still, I continued to defend him as if he were a living, breathing person. I must hereafter redouble my efforts, to further solidify my position, for I know that as I confuse myself, I confuse my readers infinitely more. I despair of the task ahead, for Lord knows it shall be an arduous one.