“Hello and welcome to the site where everything is made up and the facts don’t matter” —— is what I would say if that were the case. But, as you can clearly see, this is all very real.
I’ve spent the last few weeks reviewing my colleague Jaime’s translations of Crunch’s memoirs, and I finally reached a point that has stumped me. I couldn’t quite grasp the meaning of what Crunch was trying to tell us. But I think I’ve made a breakthrough, and I’d like to share it with you all now.
I fear that I may have underestimated, neigh, overlooked Crunch’s contributions to society, specifically in the advanced and complicated field of “Improv Comedy.”
You see, Crunch frequently used words and phrases that seemed out-of-place, or words with meanings I couldn’t comprehend, like “scenes from a hat,” “hats,” and (most confusing of them all) “Drew Carey.”
I thought maybe these were mistranslations, as is often the case in these situations, but then I remembered a stunning fact: Drew Carey was in the U.S. Marine Corps. After reading Carey’s biography entitled Dirty Jokes and Beer: Stories of the Unrefined, it became clear that during a joint Navy and Marine Corps mission to free Crunchlings from sweatshops in Indonesia, Carey served under the command of Crunch himself. Carey writes that it was there that Crunch had taken him under his wing, and taught him the “spirit of improv.”
Years later, Carey went on to be the host of the American version of the hit comedy “Whose Line Is It Anyway.” In many episodes, Crunch’s influence can be seen. Take this seen here from a game of “Superheroes,” where Brad Sherwood claims he is on his way to meet the Captain himself. Surely this is no coincidence.
Further investigation into the connection between “Whose Line” and Horatio uncovered old doodles by the Captain, pictured below.
If that isn’t Colin Mochrie and Wayne Brady, then I don’t know what to believe.
This, however, is as far as I was able to get by myself with this research. Now it is up to you, the readers, to find the signs and further proof of Crunch’s influence on improv. Once you do this, we may finally be able to answer the age old question: “Whose Line Is It Anyway?”