New Year’s Cruncholutions: 2019

2019 (or クランチ 1, as reported to us by my dear friend Tatsumi) is upon us all, and we at CrunchFacts have decided to crunchatize our New Year’s resolutions. I have interviewed all of our staff, and you can read about our individual resolutions below.

CrunchFacts itself also has a few surprises in store for 2019. Due to HIGH demand (and a personal request from Captain Horatio Magellan Crunch himself), we will be releasing CrunchFacts branded gear. Wear your knowledge of the truth with pride, and spread the truth far and wide!

As the head of Crunchfacts, my (Dr. Chad Goldsmith) resolution is simple: bring more stories of Crunch to the world. I’d like to make sure that his words are delivered as he intended, and to make sure that he is known all across this flat plane of existence, and remembered for years to come.

Michel Feinstein: “Back when I was a wee young university student at Harvard Law, I minored in Egyptian history. So, I’d like to put more of my expertise in Egyptian history into my work. This year, I’ll be featuring my very own ‘Egyptian Mythology and Crunch, How are they Connected?’ post. Please look forward to it!”

Steve Binder: “Now that the season of Advent is over, its time to forgo my gluttonous ways, and devote myself to the consumption of healthier foods. And as we all know, the healthiest consumable of all is the crunchberry. So that will consist of about 99% of my diet from this year forward.”

Jamie Hames: “Learn Spanish.”

博也タツミ Tatsumi Hiroya: “クランチ1のレゾリューションは日本人にクランチ様の重要性を知らせてみると思います。そしたら、日本の朝食にクランチベリーを毎日食べられている食べ物にしたいと思います。”

Last but not least, our intern Dimitri Bakskät: “I would like to be able to dedicate more of my life to Crunch, with the goal of maybe one day having one of my theses published to the front page of CrunchFacts.”

We at CrunchFacts would also like you to remind you to ask us any of your Crunchy Questions you might have about us and the Captain himself. You can do that at this link, or by visiting our “ask us Crunchy Questions” page from our site menu. We will be sure to get back and give you a Crunchy answer, just like we did with the esteemed Pete Pops.

 

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