Ahoy mateys! Chad Goldsmith here with big news! The first batch of CrunchFacts t-shirts are finally ready, handwoven by Horatio Crunch’s trusted crunchling worksman, Clutumnus. Crunch designed these shirts specifically to honor his beloved coworkers, back from his improv days.
You can find the shirts, as well as other goods such as canvas paintings (hand-painted with in a Bob Ross fashion) and leggings, at this link!
Clutumnus’ fine motor skills were well noted, back in his days as a crunchling dentist. Business wasn’t exactly booming for Clutumnus, due to (in no small part) the fact that crunchberries do NOT scrape the roof of your mouth. Plus, the almost non-existent artificial sugar count in the berries means all of the crunchlings have perfect, Chip Skylark-esque teeth.
The final strike for Clutumnus’ dental practice was when he was accused of being an anti-dentite, but that’s a story for another crunchy day.
But look at me ramble.
Please, check out our first batch of shirts. Crunch’s very own best comedian friends have been immortalized on his works, so we hope you can share in the joy and crunchiness of them.
Stay tuned for more crunchtastic shirts and news in the very near future!