Ahoy mateys! Chad Goldsmith here with big news!
Back by overwhelmingly popular demand, the second batch of CrunchFacts t-shirts are at the ready, once again handwoven by Horatio Crunch’s trusted crunchling worksman, Clutumnus. Clutumnus has had a lot of free time on his hands due to Crunch Island being on lock down (the island nation’s attempt at combating Crunchavirus, or CRUNCH-19). Horatio himself has even quarantined Jean Lafoote, since Lafoote has shown symptoms of CRUNCH-19, such as fever, cough, and terrible foot odor.
But I digress.
The new CrunchFacts products can be found at this link:
Get ’em while they’re hot!
These t-shirts were designed by a close friend to the CrunchFacts team, so if you’re interested in more, follow her on instagram here!
While the CDC, FDA, CCC (Center for Crunch Control), and FCA (Food and Crunch Administration) won’t let us officially make these claims, it is believed that the crunchberry residue on Clutumnus’ hands imbue these goods with Crunch-like powers. The wearer seems to be granted an immunity to CRUNCH-19, as if they were blessed by the Captain himself. Again, we cannot have these claims backed by government organizations, but our Lead Researcher of Crunchology: Shakipari Sakusaku Cr.D (Doctor of Crunch) seems to believe in these powers. And that is enough proof for me.
Here are some pictures of the first batch goods in action:
Once again, Clutumnus thanks you for taking the time to look at his hard work. We hope to feature some pictures of our readers next time, so be sure to submit pictures of you with your CrunchFacts merch to us!