Crunchy Answer #4: Horatio’s Pets

Ahoy viewers, Chad Goldsmith here back with the fourth installment in our Crunchy Answer series. This time, we are answering a question from two fans named Nathan and Sydney.

crunchy question 4

The question, once again, is:

Did the good captain Horatio ever have a pet?

This is a CRUNCHTASTIC question! In fact, it was one I also pondered on myself, before I started studying Horatio. However, the answer might be more complicated than it seems.

At first glance at the picture above (or any group picture of the crew of the Guppy), it would seem like there are many pets aboard. The dog in the picture above is Seadog, the elephant Smedley, and the yellow and red handsome devil is Crunchberry Beast.

maggie and the ferocious beast
Maggie and the Ferocious Crunchberry Beast.

Are they really the Captain’s pets, though? Or are they something more? This is truly a heavily debated topic, but I would like to state my opinion and settle the debate right now: Crunch is a man of wisdom and fairness; he does not see the animals as mere pets, but rather as members of his crew (for more info on his crew, click here). He would see them as equals if he could, but alas no one can be seen as an equal when standing next to the great Horatio Magellan Crunch.

To prove that Crunch sees the animals as not pets, but crew, I present the following picture evidence:

captured crunch and seadog
Plunder of the Guppy (1969, colorized)

Seen here is a scene depicting Seadog and Crunch tied-up to the Guppy‘s mast, serving as Jean LaFoote’s hostages. While the details of that story are for another time, this picture awakens two ideas. The first is the value of the prisoners. Seadog is tied to the mast with the CAPTAIN of the vessel! One does not simply take the captain and a measly poop deck swabber as prisoners, no, a true pirate such as Jean LaFoote would capture both the Captain and the 2nd-in-command, in this case Seadog. The second point is that Crunch clearly isn’t bothered by being tied up with Seadog. His face is cool as crunchberries in the photo above. If he thought he was tied up with just a simple pet, or maybe Dave, he would definitely have a more worried expression.

Dave Capn Crunch
Dave, for reference.

The next photo evidence can be found below:

angry capn crunch

Here, Crunch can be seen being restrained by Seadog, in a typical “hold me back, bro, hold me back” type of scenario. The implication here, is that Seadog is Horatio’s bro. A title not given to just anybody. Let alone to Dave.

Dave Capn Crunch
Dave once again, for reference.

The last piece of evidence is this:

talk show band

Here is the band that plays during The Cap’n Crunch Show (we will be airing episodes of the show on CrunchFacts soon, so stay tuned). As you can see, Smedley is on bass, and Crunchberry Beast is on drums. The bass and drums are arguably the most important instruments in a band, as they are detrimental to keeping the beat. Would Crunch entrust these instruments to, say, Dave? I didn’t think so.

Dave Capn Crunch
 

DAVE

 

 

To summarize this long but important Crunchy Answer, no. Crunch does not have any pets. But, there are three animals on-board the Guppy.

Thanks again for your question, Nathan and Sydney, and please ask another one soon. It was a pleasure answering this for you, and finally clearing the air on this hotly debated subject.

If you have any other Crunchy Questions, please send them to us at the link on this text.

Until next time,

Chad Goldsmith signing out.