Crunchy Answer #4: Horatio’s Pets

Ahoy viewers, Chad Goldsmith here back with the fourth installment in our Crunchy Answer series. This time, we are answering a question from two fans named Nathan and Sydney. The question, once again, is: Did the good captain Horatio ever have a pet? This is a CRUNCHTASTIC question! In fact, it was one I also…

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Cap’n Crunch – CrunchBerries Flavor Review

Strawberry. Blueberry. Raspberry. Blue Raspberry. Dingleberry. Blackberry. Cranberry. Brickleberry. These are the berries that my layman friend replied with when I asked them to name the berries they know.   Though it seems they have forgotten the most important berry of them all: the crunchberry. Yes, my fellow crunchlings, the crunchberry is the meaning of…

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Crunchy Answer #3: Video Games and Fever Dreams

Ahoy CrunchFans! We are back with another Crunchy Question from one of our beloved readers, Tater T.   For those who may have trouble reading the picture embedded, here is the question in text form: There was a CD game about the Cap’n called Cap’n Crunch Crunchling Adventure. I used to play it everyday in…

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2nd Batch of CrunchFacts T-shirts are here!

Ahoy mateys! Chad Goldsmith here with big news! Back by overwhelmingly popular demand, the second batch of CrunchFacts t-shirts are at the ready, once again handwoven by Horatio Crunch’s trusted crunchling worksman, Clutumnus. Clutumnus has had a lot of free time on his hands due to Crunch Island being on lock down (the island nation’s…

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Jean LaFoote Encounters: Trouble aFoote Part 1/3

As I delve further into Crunch’s memoirs, I descover truly how little I know about the universe. With each entry, Crunch reaches closer and closer to omnipotence. How he is able to remember even the most minute details, and then write them in his personal diary, able to be understood by even the most casual…

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Cap’n Crunch – Sprinkled Donut Flavor Review

It goes without saying that the best breakfast food is, undoubtably, cereal. More specifically, Cap’n Crunch cereal made by the one and only Horatio Magellan Crunch. However, a close runner-up is the donut. That’s why I could hardly believe my crunchberry sized eyes when I saw the perfect fusion cuisine: Cap’n Crunch Sprinkled Donut cereal.…

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Crunchy Answer #2: Is Crunch a Mr. or a Monsieur?

“Hello” or “bonjour?” “Thank you” or “merci?” “Give me liberty” or “donne moi une pipe?” These are the important questions we must ask when trying to decipher the origins of Crunch. While it is obviously clear he is from the beautiful Crunch Island, the location of said island has remained a bit more mysterious. Much…

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Back from Smoko

You may have noticed that the CrunchFacts team has been silent recently. You may have attributed that to the fact that we were hard at work, thus the radio silence. You would be wrong. Neigh, it wasn’t hard work that kept these great Crunchtributors busy, but instead something far more important. We were on Smoko.…

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First CrunchFacts T-shirts are here!

Ahoy mateys! Chad Goldsmith here with big news! The first batch of CrunchFacts t-shirts are finally ready, handwoven by Horatio Crunch’s trusted crunchling worksman, Clutumnus. Crunch designed these shirts specifically to honor his beloved coworkers, back from his improv days. You can find the shirts, as well as other goods such as canvas paintings (hand-painted…

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New Year’s Cruncholutions: 2019

2019 (or クランチ 1, as reported to us by my dear friend Tatsumi) is upon us all, and we at CrunchFacts have decided to crunchatize our New Year’s resolutions. I have interviewed all of our staff, and you can read about our individual resolutions below. CrunchFacts itself also has a few surprises in store for 2019.…

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