Introducing: Jean LaFoote

From Crunch’s memoirs, we’ve read a lot about his exploits around the world and the battles he has fought. But one intriguing person keeps popping up in Crunch’s entries, and that person is his Jean LaFoote. LaFoote was (and maybe still is) Crunch’s greatest adversary. They did battle numerous times, often crossing blades over the…

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An Ode to Crunch, Or Crunchling’s Lament

He arrived, a gleam in his eyes; it betrayed, belied, yet cast all pretense aside. Setting forth, looking port; not right, though not wrong, adventure throngs among throngs overlong. Queued to queue their boxes emblazoned, they stand and they wait, mostly patient. Then he arrives, fully sated, to sate of them, that diverse gradient, that…

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In Sickness and in Health

It would appear as though I have fallen sick: my throat prickles, as though perforated by cactus spines; my eye-sockets throb, and feel impressed upon; my body, simply put, is failing me. I would worry you not, most esteemed reader – I will most certainly recover from that which ails me. The cause for my…

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Horatiatic Jestings

As has been made clear by the posts of my great friend and peer who shall remain nameless, the accurate interpretation of Horatio’s existential verities eludes even those who have been blessed with the brightest of minds! It would seem that our humble outlet of information has been plagued, transforming it into a cesspool of…

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i’ve found the truth!

I’ve found it out! Captain Crunch, you delectable lout! Beloved colonizer of the Isle of Crunch Crunchlings you herded, gathered in a bunch! Compressed and compacted, squeezed and extruded To create golden corn and oat squares, beautiful and fluted! Oh what a show! How could I have ever been so low? So as to doubt…

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why

i cannot for the life of me discern what exactly it is i am trying to say anymore–i have, time and time again, deleted and rewritten this post. it has been two hours now, and i refuse to allow myself to rebuff this post’s submission any further. i have toyed with the idea of simply…

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Solitary Berry

Captain Crunch, A man of glee For breakfast, lunch, I’ll munch on thee Aboard his ship, The S.S. Guppy On sea you’ll float, If you’re so lucky And search the seas, Look far and wide For Crunch Berries, To steal and hide   Upon your tongue, You’ll plant the seed One berry clung, but was…

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クランチ様の俳句 2

クランチ様が最初ガッピーに航海した時に、下の俳句を書きになりました。 海の中 ガッピーにいる 幸せな

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The Death of Crunch (cont’d.)

When there is a death in the family, and all has been prepared for their departure, the deceased is more alive than they ever were when alive; that there even exists such a ritual sendoff (be it by way of funeral, cremation, alkaline hydrolysis–the list goes on) lends credence to a notion of mine–that, in…

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