“Cap’n Crunch’s Crunchling Adventure” Review

The year was 1999. The Captain released a video game as a surprise inside his special Cap’n Crunch cereal for children all across the Crunch-o-sphere. However, it wasn’t until later that the game’s true purpose was realized. Much like World War II’s Bletchley codebreakers were found using crossword puzzles in British newspapers, Crunch sought gifted Crunchling…

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Experimenting With Crunch

I write this brief post to inform our beloved reader base of a new innovation in the Captain Crunch Colloquium (CCC): Captain Crunch Cereal in pickle brine. Hear me out for a second, my most certainly now-disgusted reader–You would be remiss to click away from this post now before trying this combination. As my grandmother…

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Kellogg’s and Horatio Magellan: An introduction to a Comparison of Cereal Mascots and the Holy Spirit

At the turn of the year 1863, the first breakfast cereal was created. Granula couldn’t  have guessed what their measly simple cereal would spawn. 40 some odd years later, the Kellogg’s brother would concoct something the world had never seen. In their basement, corroded by corn and heat, they created the perfect duality. Corn, the…

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Ontological Horatiatic Musings

I would advise the faint of heart to turn away now—I would rather not induce a heart attack in you, my beloved reader base. For those with thicker arterial walls and not an inkling of tachycardia, I have a bold assumption to make: Captain Horatio Magellan Crunch is not real. Certainly, he exists a la…

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Crunch Declassifed

More than just an icon for a beloved breakfast cereal, Horatio Magellan Crunch is a decorated sailor in the Navy. At the helm of the battle-scarred Guppy, Captain Crunch has acquired many a story by sailing the Seven Milky Seas. However, his life has been shrouded in mystery, as his only accounts of these stories was…

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