2018: A Crunchy Retrospective

Well, here we are. The year is coming to a close and we all have a chance to look back upon the great — and not so great — things that have happened this year. And so we all must ask ourselves: where would we be without a little crunch in our lives! Yes, we…

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Cap’n Crunch – Original Flavor Review

Let me begin by saying that I love Captain Crunch. This bias will most certainly seep into my review, but I am unapologetic. This bias is well-deserved, and, for reasons I will soon discuss, Cap’n Crunch’s original flavor gets 10/10 Crunchberries. Perfectly sweetened, delectable and savory, crunchy yet soft–Cap’n Crunch’s original flavor, contained within a…

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An Ode to Crunch, Or Crunchling’s Lament

He arrived, a gleam in his eyes; it betrayed, belied, yet cast all pretense aside. Setting forth, looking port; not right, though not wrong, adventure throngs among throngs overlong. Queued to queue their boxes emblazoned, they stand and they wait, mostly patient. Then he arrives, fully sated, to sate of them, that diverse gradient, that…

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In Sickness and in Health

It would appear as though I have fallen sick: my throat prickles, as though perforated by cactus spines; my eye-sockets throb, and feel impressed upon; my body, simply put, is failing me. I would worry you not, most esteemed reader – I will most certainly recover from that which ails me. The cause for my…

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Horatiatic Jestings

As has been made clear by the posts of my great friend and peer who shall remain nameless, the accurate interpretation of Horatio’s existential verities eludes even those who have been blessed with the brightest of minds! It would seem that our humble outlet of information has been plagued, transforming it into a cesspool of…

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Eucharistic Horatiatic Postmortem Impermanence

Captain Crunch exists. This is my final stand, both against myself and those around me who would think me as covetously grasping to a fiction. So quick to jump to conclusions, people are; and yet, even in the face of finite, categorical, epistemologically unchallengeable outcomes, people can deny the truth. My friends and colleagues have…

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Experimenting With Crunch

I write this brief post to inform our beloved reader base of a new innovation in the Captain Crunch Colloquium (CCC): Captain Crunch Cereal in pickle brine. Hear me out for a second, my most certainly now-disgusted reader–You would be remiss to click away from this post now before trying this combination. As my grandmother…

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クランチ様の俳句

クランチ様が回顧録で色々な俳句を書きました。この下の俳句は私の一番好きな俳句です。 花見する クランチ桜 カラフルだ

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Why Do We Take the “Truth” as Fact? (Franklin vs. Crunch)

Few men have had the wherewithal to lead the formation of a country with very little promise or prospect.  In the same vein, the life of a navy admiral–while woeful and lonely–can also up-heave men to the highest clutches of fame and glory due to the arduous, painstaking dedication required. It has been purported many…

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Ontological Horatiatic Musings

I would advise the faint of heart to turn away now—I would rather not induce a heart attack in you, my beloved reader base. For those with thicker arterial walls and not an inkling of tachycardia, I have a bold assumption to make: Captain Horatio Magellan Crunch is not real. Certainly, he exists a la…

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