i’ve found the truth!

I’ve found it out! Captain Crunch, you delectable lout! Beloved colonizer of the Isle of Crunch Crunchlings you herded, gathered in a bunch! Compressed and compacted, squeezed and extruded To create golden corn and oat squares, beautiful and fluted! Oh what a show! How could I have ever been so low? So as to doubt…

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The Death of Crunch (cont’d.)

When there is a death in the family, and all has been prepared for their departure, the deceased is more alive than they ever were when alive; that there even exists such a ritual sendoff (be it by way of funeral, cremation, alkaline hydrolysis–the list goes on) lends credence to a notion of mine–that, in…

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You Are Being Lied To.

It has recently been brought to my attention that lies are being spread about what we represent and how we choose to portray ourselves as an independent information entity.  I apologize for any rash language or unsightly overtones in this update; I am simply livid. We stand for nothing short of the entire truth and…

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Ontological Horatiatic Musings

I would advise the faint of heart to turn away now—I would rather not induce a heart attack in you, my beloved reader base. For those with thicker arterial walls and not an inkling of tachycardia, I have a bold assumption to make: Captain Horatio Magellan Crunch is not real. Certainly, he exists a la…

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