CrunchFacts and Crackinho: A Crunchy Combo

Breaking news: our very own Japanese Correspondent,  Tatsumi Hiroya, has been selected to work on a special video game project. Tatsumi will be providing English-to-Japanese translations and subtitles for Black Onyx Interactive’s new game Crackinho: Beat ‘em up in the World! The game is based on the Brazilian super-hero of the same name. What surprised me…

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Cap’n Crunch – Sprinkled Donut Flavor Review

It goes without saying that the best breakfast food is, undoubtably, cereal. More specifically, Cap’n Crunch cereal made by the one and only Horatio Magellan Crunch. However, a close runner-up is the donut. That’s why I could hardly believe my crunchberry sized eyes when I saw the perfect fusion cuisine: Cap’n Crunch Sprinkled Donut cereal.…

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Follow CrunchFacts on WT.Social

The new crunchtastic social network from the founder of Wikipedia, WT.Social  is out, and has been crunchatized. CrunchFacts has their own, official subwiki on WT.Social, so please follow it for frequent updates and news about CrunchFacts, as well as frequent, bite-sized CrunchFacts, like this one: CrunchFact #201 Captain Crunch has never lost in a game of…

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クランチ様の俳句3

ミルク入り シリアルも入り 最高だ

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Hinduism Crunch : Mythological Horatiatic Sagas

During my recent business trip to the wonderful subcontinent of India, I chatted with many locals about current events. And what event is more current than Captain Crunch? During one of my conversations with a friend I had made, I learned a groundbreaking piece of information that I was not previously aware of: Crunch is…

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New Year’s Cruncholutions: 2019

2019 (or クランチ 1, as reported to us by my dear friend Tatsumi) is upon us all, and we at CrunchFacts have decided to crunchatize our New Year’s resolutions. I have interviewed all of our staff, and you can read about our individual resolutions below. CrunchFacts itself also has a few surprises in store for 2019.…

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2018: A Crunchy Retrospective

Well, here we are. The year is coming to a close and we all have a chance to look back upon the great — and not so great — things that have happened this year. And so we all must ask ourselves: where would we be without a little crunch in our lives! Yes, we…

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Eucharistic Horatiatic Postmortem Impermanence

Captain Crunch exists. This is my final stand, both against myself and those around me who would think me as covetously grasping to a fiction. So quick to jump to conclusions, people are; and yet, even in the face of finite, categorical, epistemologically unchallengeable outcomes, people can deny the truth. My friends and colleagues have…

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“Cap’n Crunch’s Crunchling Adventure” Review

The year was 1999. The Captain released a video game as a surprise inside his special Cap’n Crunch cereal for children all across the Crunch-o-sphere. However, it wasn’t until later that the game’s true purpose was realized. Much like World War II’s Bletchley codebreakers were found using crossword puzzles in British newspapers, Crunch sought gifted Crunchling…

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Kellogg’s and Horatio Magellan: An introduction to a Comparison of Cereal Mascots and the Holy Spirit

At the turn of the year 1863, the first breakfast cereal was created. Granula couldn’t  have guessed what their measly simple cereal would spawn. 40 some odd years later, the Kellogg’s brother would concoct something the world had never seen. In their basement, corroded by corn and heat, they created the perfect duality. Corn, the…

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